Ever wonder how and when you can tell if a guy likes you? Sometimes it can be hard to see the signs, but there are some things that you can look for that are scientific steps in his escalation of feelings for you. These steps are taken from studies on psychology and human behavior, not just magazines and personal anecdotes. If you look for the following progression in his behavior, you’ll never be left second guessing his feelings for you.
- He stays in close proximity to you.
From an evolutionary aspect, there are advantages to close proximity. If you’re trying to capture food, closing the distance between you and your prey is a good thing. If you’re trying to mate, being closer to that person will give you an advantage. Nothing will happen at a far distance. You often hear about office romances because those people work so closely with each other. It is easy to know if you like someone when you are around them all of the time. It’s similar to when you find out that a guy likes you and you start to like him more. When you’re in close proximity to someone, you feel accepted and you start to like that person more.
The first thing that the guy will do is try to close the distance between you. At a distance, you can’t get anything done. But if you are close together all of the time, there is the potential for something more to come of it. Which leads to the next step…
- He will build intel.
Logically, the next thing that he will want to do is gather information about you. This will be more than just trying to figure out if you are single, taken, or if you’re looking for a boyfriend. He wants to get to know you. He will be looking to see if you are his type, if you have what he needs, and if he sees any red flags. He’s making sure that you are the one that he wants before he starts to make moves. Do you have too much baggage? Are you the right type for him? He might try to ask things in a nonchalant way like, “Well, your boyfriend wouldn’t like that, would he?” What he’s really doing here is trying to get you to tell him that you don’t have a boyfriend. He will be fishing for information.
If he likes the energy that you’re giving off, decides there are no red flags, and the two of you seem to match up well, it will lead to the next step…
- He will try and provide the masculine role.
Feminine and masculine energies go together. Think of an example of two people dancing. If both of them have feminine energies, they wouldn’t go anywhere. They would be figuring out who is supposed to lead and where to go. If they’re both masculine they’re tense, pushing, and looking sloppy. If two people dance with a masculine and feminine energy they flow, complement each other, and are graceful together.
If this guy likes you, he will want to try to show you that he can provide this masculine role. Subconsciously, this is what he wants because it’s evolutionary. It’s about family life, building a community, and the whole job of an organism is to survive and replicate. Organisms build groups and tribes for security, and he is fulfilling his evolutionary role by taking on this masculine energy.
- He will try and build courtship.
This is the most important step because it shows where a guy stands, and it requires validation from the woman’s side. Men tie their ego and self worth into how other women see them. If women are interested in him, his looks, his status, and his social proof, he’s going to feel very good about himself and fulfilled. When women don’t, he loses confidence and doesn’t feel good. A man wants to seek that validation with a courtship.
This courtship doesn’t necessarily mean actual dates. He is going to try to fill your needs and wants. He wants to provide and satisfy. A girl wants a guy to make her laugh, she wants him to take care of himself, and show her that he’s worthy. This is what he will try to accomplish during this courtship phase. He will want to show you that he is the person that you need in your life. This is one of the surefire ways to tell that he likes you (see If a Guy Likes You, He Will Let You know). If you show him validation in this step, it will lead to the final step in his escalation of feelings…
- He will close the barrier with touch.
Finally, he will test this validation by breaking the barrier between you. In a continuation of the first step, proximity, he will want to get close to you. This isn’t in a sexual way, but more in a flirtatious way. He might put his hand on your lower back. If you pull away, he will know that you’re not feeling the same way and not showing him validation. If you let this happen, it is a sign that you are on the same page.
From the final step he may move into asking you out on a date, kissing, or whatever else might go from there. At this point it will both be clear that you like each other.
It can sometimes be hard to decipher a man’s feelings for you, but if you look for these five steps it can be simple. He will try and be around you more, build intel about you, provide a masculine role, build a courtship, and close the barrier with touch. If you provide him with validation throughout these steps it can lead to a few dates and maybe even a relationship.
For more signs on if he likes you, check out 5 More Signs On How To Tell If A Guy Likes You and Wants To Be With You.