Are you tired of being a fling? A one night stand? What do you think it takes to be relationship material? That is a pretty hard question to ask because most of the time when you think you’re doing great, the rug is pulled out from under you and you trying to make sense of what the Hell just happened.
I remember in my younger and more vulnerable years I was hooking up with this beautiful woman who I met at college. We would hook up often and while it was great, I wanted more. She didn’t.
I tried everything I could to get her to commit but she said she just wanted to hook up. Several months later she ended up dating another guy and I was left confused on what happen.
Why didn’t she want to date me?
First Impressions Determine If You’re Girlfriend Material
Your first impression is everything. No seriously, it’s everything. Think of it as the first step toward different paths of how he is going to see you. Your first minute is going to determine the rest your relationship.
His first minute of seeing you will literally shape how he feels about you for the rest of the time you’re with him in that current meeting (basically the first minute of introduction is your chance to give him the right impression. Everything else you do will be seen from that).
To put it an easier way, think of it as a lens you’re giving him to look through. If the lens is broken, cracked, blurry, or stained, he’s not going to have a pleasant experience. He will now associate a majority of the things you do with that experience..
While we think of it as a bad thing in society, it’s actually the brains way of working on autopilot and filing things because of how fast it must work when meeting someone new. Your brain doesn’t know this person and must fill in the gaps to see if the person is a threat or not.
That means places like bars, clubs, and online dating aren’t the best place to meet men because of the stigma we have as a society of those places and how we all think of them as mating pools.
Women constantly wonder why they can’t get men to commit. The problem is you’re tagged to this stigma and he groups you in with these type of people. Men go to bars to get LAID. Men are online dating sites to get LAID. Why do you think they’re so perverted?
So what do you do?
YOU AVOID THESE PLACES AND PICK UP MEN DURING THE DAY:
- “Day game” is great because you have less competition
- You aren’t tagged with the stigma
- Men don’t have the same mindset of getting laid like they do when they go to bars
The Halo Effect
If you want the exact reason why first impressions matter, it’s because of The Halo Effect. The Halo effect is a cognitive bias in which an observer’s overall impression of a person, company, brand, or product influences the observer’s feelings and thoughts about that entity’s character or properties.
You see this all the time and it’s a very powerful thing to have in your favor. For example, let’s talk about the like/dislike bias.
When you like someone, most of the time you subconsciously search for things you like about that person. When you find something you dislike or they did something wrong, you tend to be more lenient and forgiving. However, if you find a person that you dislike, you tend to look for more things you dislike and when they do something great, you don’t give it much attention because you already have a cognitive bias of that person.
This is important when it comes to getting a guy to see you as girlfriend material or a fling/one night stand. If you don’t see you as girlfriend material, he’s going to use you for what he can get and even if you do come around and become an awesome woman, he’s still not going to give you the credit you deserve. So it’s important to keep up a great impression for the first couple times you see him. Does that mean you have to be perfect? Of course not! Just be human and show him that you aren’t like these other women. It’s as if you’re going into an interview and trying to get the job. Show you’re the most worthy.
You’re Not The Best Option
Men only settle for women who they believe are the best option they can get.
- If he works out and has a nice body. he obviously puts high emphasis on working out. Do you have a nice body?
- If he’s passionate and goal oriented, he’s ambitious. Are you passionate and ambitious?
He’s going to look for women who are on his level just like you should look for men who are on your level. You should never settle for less. Men are extremely logical. There is no reason in Hell for him to settle down if he can get better. And you know what? You can’t even get mad at him for that. If you do that’s just selfish because you would do the same thing. We all deserve the best person for us.
If you want a GREAT example of this, I highly suggest you watch the TV show NEXT. It was a very old show on MTV where someone of the opposite sex goes on 5 dates and if the date isn’t going well, the person just yells “NEXT” and the person leaves and a new one comes out and the date picks up from there. It’s a great and accurate show that shows how cruel and demanding the market is out there for a great mate.
Are You A Liability Or Asset?
The idea of being a liability or asset is more in terms of being high risk or low risk. That means, are you going to hurt his ego and/or purpose or are you going to help it?
Men avoid high risk women in any scenario. for example, if he feels like he is going to get turned down, he will not approach a woman who he finds attractive sitting right across from him. On the flip side, if he sees some red flags, he has no desire to date you.
- don’t take care of yourself
- no goals or ambition
- got your life together
It’s important to show as many assets as possible as soon as possible without showing off. When he sees that you’re a woman of high value and social proof he is going to be at your feet begging to be your boyfriend.
Honestly, it’s as simple as that. Men aren’t complicated. I would say they’re overly simplified to the point where it’s so easy you think, “I can’t believe it is that simple” that you look over it. If you want more help on men I suggest you check out my free ebook and subscribe to my Youtube Channel where I go into much more detail on the subject.