Do you want to know how to get a man to become obsessed with you and chase you? If you follow the steps below, you’ll have the best chance possible for this to happen. These steps follow the evolutionary psychology of what men want and how to give it to them.
1. Build value
You’re not going to go after something that you don’t value. If someone is criticizing you and they’re just a troll, you won’t care about what they think. But if it’s someone that really cares about you that criticizes you it has a lot more meaning. You’re going to take what they say and try to be better. This is because this person has value to you.
So, how do you create value? Everyone has a blueprint of what their future is supposed to look like. You might want a nice job, a nice house, a nice guy, a stable income, and whatever else is desirable. Men and women are happiest when they get closer to their goals. They get angry, sad, or depressed when they are pulling away from their goals. A man wants a woman who helps him progress towards his goal.
The first things men are looking for are red flags. Are you an asset or a liability? The best relationships come together when both people are in line with values and they want the same things in life, they want to better each other, and have the same mindset. A man is looking for a woman who has values, social proof, and who other men want. You want to have assets to attract a man towards you. You’re strong and independent, you won’t hold him down, you’re open minded, you’re loving and caring; these things will all make you desirable and valuable to a man.
When women come into a relationship with low confidence, not having the job they want, talking about drama, these are all liabilities. This shows that you don’t have value. It’s a red flag for men and they won’t desire you with all of that baggage.
2. Become elusive and build competition
One way to create and increase value is to become elusive. This is different from playing hard to get. Playing hard to get is just playing mind games. This doesn’t work with men because they don’t want to risk their egos by being turned down. If you get a confident guy seeing you play hard to get, he’s going to go talk to other women and forget about you. The ones who do like you playing hard to get are the ones that have low egos and are desperate to get a woman (see How To Get Him To Like You).
Being elusive is more about making it seem like all these other guys want you but can’t get you, and making it easy for the guy who you want to get you. That shows value because the man will think that he has something that the other guys don’t. We all want to be around people that make us feel good about ourselves, and you will be making this guy feel good about himself because he can get you when these other guys can’t. Even if you don’t think that you’re attracting other men, it’s all about faking it until you make it. Create the confidence and the illusion that other men want you and it will happen.
From there you will build attraction and you want to build up a little bit of competition. A man doesn’t want to lose a woman to another man. It’s the worst thing that can happen to a guy. When you’re building this competition, you don’t want to flirt with other guys, but make it known that other guys are attracted to you.
If you’re out with this guy, make sure you’re walking around with the right confidence and aura. Other guys will check you out because of this. It doesn’t matter how physically attractive you are, it’s all about the confidence that you have and the vibes that you’re giving off. He will know that they’re checking you out and he’ll be afraid of losing you to another man. Evolutionary, man’s job is to satisfy and provide for women. It’s not necessary for men to provide for women in this day in age, but it still makes them feel good about themselves when they can. If he sees that other guys can provide what he wants to provide for you, he’s going to try harder to hold onto you. When you have confidence, men know that there’s a reason that you have it, and they will desire you. By becoming elusive and increasing competition for you, a guy will not want to let you go because it increases your value in his eyes.
3. If he does lose you, he lowers his status
Men are status junkies. When they can’t provide and satisfy for a woman it kills their ego and lowers their status. The whole reason that men want nice cars, good jobs, etc., are to impress women. These things don’t matter if they can’t get the woman that they want. They put women on a pedestal and try so hard to impress them. If you are able to build up attraction and value enough that a man considers you as a higher status, he will do everything that he can to keep you. If he loses you, he will lose his confidence and his value. Staying at a higher status than the man that you want makes you constantly desirable, and he will be obsessed with you.
These steps are not guaranteed to make a guy obsessed with you, but they will make it much more likely. As with many techniques in the dating world, it’s all about having confidence, showing that you have value, and building attraction between you.