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What Pushes Him Away
Easiest Way To Get a Guy Back You Like After He Pulled Away

Easiest Way To Get a Guy Back You Like After He Pulled Away

So you want to get a guy to like you after he pulled way? There is nothing worse than liking a guy so much and thinking everything is going great to only be blindsided with his choice of not contacting you and creating distance. You thought everything was going great! What happened? In this article, I am going to explain to you why men pull away and what you can do to get him back.

Why Men Pull Away In The First Place

How to get a guy back after he pulled away

There are a variety of reasons why men pull away. Here are some of the following:

  • You’re not what he wanted
  • He thought he wanted a relationship but doesn’t
  • He never wanted one in the first place and used you
  • You showed too many red flags
  • It didn’t work out
  • Got too serious too soon

The one I want to emphasize the most is him THINKING he wants a relationship but doesn’t. This is probably the top reason a guy may push you away and create distance.

As you know, you probably hung out a lot and texted a bunch in the beginning. He showed a lot of interest in you, texted often, always wanted to see you, and initiated a lot of the contact. However, it doesn’t hit men as fast as it hits women when it comes to knowing what they want. Men are much more likely to jump in cold water of a relationship then jump right back out while a woman dips her toes in first, feels it out, and then gradually inserts herself into the position.

What I am trying to say is in the beginning, men love the hanging out, hooking up, bonding, and fun you two have together. But the more he complies with these things (The texting, always hanging out, always wanting to see you, the daily conversations, meeting family and friends, and deeper talks) the more it takes its toll on you two. You don’t have to talk about titles, what you two are, or where it’s going to scare a guy away. The vibe alone will push him away. If he keeps on complying with these things, then it’s going to go down the path of seriousness and then a relationship because that’s the natural way this stuff unfolds. Obviously it’s:

Boy meets girl> Boy and girl hang out > They hang out more > Feelings grow > Things get serious > They become a couple.

That is how guys think about it. It’s very logical to us.

How To Get Him Back After He Pulled Away

There are several things you need to do in order to get a guy to like you again after he pulls away. If the reason he pulled away was because it got too serious too fast, you need to do this:

Make sure you have these things in line

  • Let go of “freedom of outcome”. That means don’t worry about if you two are together or not or where it’s going (not yet at least). The vibe alone is enough to scare a guy away. Just focus on the moment when you two are together, have fun, laugh, and show him you’re a great option.
  • Be in your feminine. Men love to feel masculine. Men truly believe that if they can’t attract a woman, they’re worthless. Sad I know lol. Now I am not saying give in to him and let him know you’re crazy about him but it’s important to be in your feminine. That means helping him be in his masculine. Laugh when he says something funny, close the proximity between you two, hold strong eye contact, touch him, build sexual tension, have sex appeal, and those types of things. What I bolded is probably the most important thing.
  • Limit red flags. Guys always weigh the pros and cons when thinking about a girl. You can be a good looking girl but if you’re crazy, it’s only going to be a one night stand. In your situation, just don’t give off any vibes that you’re needy and clingy and you will be okay. Men’s biggest fear with commitment is lack of freedom and being suppressed.
  • Be that cool chick. I can’t tell you how many times I hear guys say they just want a cool chick. That cool chick is a mix from everything I said above: funny, good sense of humor, sexy, fun, feminine, non clingy/needy, in the moment, and so on. Going back to value, I would say that a woman with all these traits is a high value woman.

Change His Mindset

The absolute worst thing you can do when trying to get a guy back is to convince him to come back after he pulled away. He literally is in the mindset of creating distance so why would he want to come back? Instead, you need to give him time and space. I suggest you give him one to two weeks before reaching out again.

The reason this is important is he isn’t going to come back to you after leaving. That isn’t logical. That is like if you just got in a fight with me because I did something extremely bad to you and the me saying, “Hey you want to be my friend?” That isn’t going to workout very well. You’re heated, in the moment, and in the mindset of wanting nothing to do with me. It’d be best if I pulled away, gave you space, and then came back when the matter wasn’t so important. Give him time to miss you and adjust to what it’s like not having you around. The chances of him coming back after you reach out are going to be much greater because you’re not chasing him or seeming clingy due to the space you gave him AND he is chill and over what happened.

That’s all there really is too it. If you want a guy back don’t rush it. You’re only going to cause damage. Ease into it. Play the long game and see what happens.

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14 Comments


  1. Boogaloo

    March 3, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    What if you start talking to other guys and even go out on a date with someone during that time. He’s pulled away? If you want him back is it better to wait a couple weeks, or just go ahead and go out with someone?

    Reply

  2. Kelly Barker

    March 16, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Hi there,
    I am trying to find where or how I can book a call with you – can you please help?
    Kelly

    Reply

    • Elliot

      March 19, 2017 at 11:19 pm

      Links are on my youtube vids in the description 🙂

      Reply

    • Elliot

      April 26, 2017 at 10:04 am

      The links are in my YT videos down in the description.

      Reply

  3. Carmen

    March 20, 2017 at 2:29 am

    Hey Elliot! I have got the most messed up breakup you have EVER heard! Would like to talk but don’t have the money.

    Reply

  4. Melissa

    April 1, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    What about in committed relationship? How much time and space do you give before you know the relationship is over?

    Reply

    • Elliot

      April 26, 2017 at 10:04 am

      Not long at all in my opinion. a day if that.

      Reply

  5. Lee

    April 18, 2017 at 11:56 am

    Elliot

    Like u so much on u tube

    Always watch your videos

    When do u do your live video, please let me knoe thx

    Reply

    • Elliot

      April 26, 2017 at 10:00 am

      Awe thank you 🙂 I am going to try to do them on the weekends. I will post and let you know

      Reply

  6. jaxs

    May 10, 2017 at 1:59 am

    what about men in their 50s, who ask you to marry them, then leave ,his excuse…needs to fix himself, but gets pissed off because you found out he was lying and called him out , these men are too old for this crap, would love more info on relationships that went on for yrs , but the guys acting like the guys you describe in the videos

    Reply

  7. Jami

    July 18, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    I’ve been in an on and off relationship for 3 years. We lived together ,broke up, moved out, started talking again, broke up, this is probably the 4 or 5 th time. Every time I let him go and start to date other men, he contacts me. This last time everything was great and then poof! He ghosted me for about a week. I tried texting, calling and he ignored me. More than anything I want to be with him but he keeps pulling me in then pushing me away and I dont know what to do. At what point do I just give up and move on completely? My 11 yr old daughter loves him so much and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t want us back. I’m so confused. I have a date tonight and of course he messaged me last night. I haven’t responded but all it says is that he’s home on weekends and evenings if I want to pick up my bike. I texted him asking when I could pick it up and move on but its not what I truly want. I haven’t responded yet because I don’t know what to say…why doesn’t he love me? He said he did and he said he didn’t want to date other women but I dont understand him. Please help me, I’m going crazy.

    Reply

  8. Humzat

    July 25, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    The guy I was dating just disappeared. Its been more than 2 weeks he hasn’t contacted me. All together I called him 3 times and texted him twice to say that please talk to me. He is online all the times. Thats not like him. He doesn’t have many friends. Shall I just give up? I have already deleted his number.

    Reply

  9. Brittany Pimentel

    September 22, 2017 at 8:20 am

    I have realized I pushed this guy away twice. Both times because I rushed things and I was the boy in the realtionship. We have shown interest into eachother beforehand on two different occasions & qe talked for 2 months the first time and now 2 weeks the second time. He made it clear to me both times that he was interested in me but like I said I pushed him away and randomly the next day he never messaged me back. It’s now been about a week since I have herd from him, I know realize my mistake that I caused the problem & that really upsets me because I really was intrested in him. Do you think that I should try to reach out to him In 2 weeks or so or is that a bad idea? Do I look like he is wrapped around my finger/ desperate for him if I reach out to him for a 2nd time? Or is me messaging him two weeks from now, asking how he is doing a good approach? I only say two weeks from own because that’s when we will both be at the same event at the same time. Like I said this past time we were communicating he told me he was intrested in me but I know that I was to masculinity and rushed things so now I feel bad and want to fix because I know it could work if I didn’t do that. What do I do?!?

    Reply

  10. Kara

    November 12, 2017 at 2:01 am

    Hi Elliot,

    I’m curious about how fear and anxiety play into the “pull back” when things have obviously become more serious and deep. There are a lot of generic reasons, which are valid but sometimes it’s more complicated than just him “not really being into you”.

    I’d be interested in seeing an article regarding how men deal with fear and potential relationship “sabotage”.

    Reply

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About Me

What's going on everybody? It's your favorite dating coach, Elliot Scott! I am a 29 year old who lives in Boise ID spending most of my time doing what I love most: helping people find quality relationships