Men pull away all the time. Most of us do it because we feel it’s getting too serious too fast and want to defuse the situation. This would leave you at a disadvantage. Instead, I think women shouldn’t act so eager and at times, cut a guy off a bit to make him miss you. In this article, I am going to go over how to cut a guy off correctly to make him miss you. I want you to understand the right mindset to have and the things women do wrong which screws up the whole process of making him miss you.
Focus On Context And Not Pulling Away
Women always ask me, “Should I reach out to him?” Or “Should I pull away?” I always respond with “it depends on the context.”
What I mean by that is this:
You must not focus on the action at hand on how to make him miss you BUT mold your game plan based on the context and frame you’re in. So for example. If you are always reaching out, texting daily, and he’s obvious you are crazy about him and want a relationship, I think pulling away a bit is the best option because if you do reach out again, it’s only going to emphasize that you’re needy and clingy and scare him off. On the other hand, if you’re not doing those things then the context is different. He has no reason to think you’re eager and desperate for his attention so reaching out doesn’t make you seem too eager or crazy.
One of my favorite phrases I say is that it’s normal to want to see someone, text them, and so on. A red flag only is a red flag when that desire becomes an obsession such as always wanting to see them, text them, and be around them. That’s when the guy freaks out.
So in your situation, I highly suggest you look at the bigger picture and try to decipher what he thinks not just of you but of the situation, if you’re not sure, I suggest pulling away for a bit. More time than not, women come off strong and don’t even realize it.
You don’t have to question him with titles and ask him where this is going to come off strong. Guys can tell by your availability, eagerness, interest, and energy. If you’re coming off hard, then he’s going to pull away because he knows you’re wanting more too soon.
Give him time to miss you.
Stop Fearing You’re Going To Lose Him
The biggest mistake women make is they pull away then come back around because they fear the guy isn’t going to give a shit and not make a move.
GIVE HIM TIME TO MISS YOU! AND FIND OUT HOW TO MAKE HIM MISS YOU! When a guy pulls away, he’s not going to come running back just yet. He literally is in the mindset and of the decision that he pulled away. He’d be a contradiction if he came back immediately.
Stop orbiting around on the outside and looking at his snaps, liking his shit, and texting him sporadically. You have to be cutthroat with that shit. Make him feel as if he’s never going to get you again. Trust me, men will miss you. We always do.
I remember a time where I broke up with this girl I was talking to. I was excited after the break up because I was free! I didn’t stress over it at all and I knew she was freaking out because her friends told me so. The first week was a breeze. So was the second week. The third week was even easier. The fourth week I went out and didn’t even think about her. It wasn’t until day 30 where it hit me like a brick wall: I MISSED HER. I WANTED HER IN MY LIFE.
I came back begging to be with her but she wasn’t going to have any of that shit. She did a great job cutting me out and did no contact. I knew what it was like completely without her and it sucked.
You need to do the same thing.
Don’t Pull Away 100% Unless He’s An Asshole
I am going to contradict myself here with what I previous said but with good reason. If the guy seems like a player, you met him online, he isn’t showing you the effort he should be putting in, and those kinds of things, I wouldn’t reach out. But if it was going okay and then you feel him pulling away, I would reach out again after 4-5 days.
The reason I say this is the guy probably pulled away because he wasn’t wanting a relationship and you came off strong without realizing it. Yes, you came off strong. I promise you. That’s 90% of the reason guys pull away. So like I said in the first point: pull away and create context. Give him some space and his mind time to miss you then reach out. If you don’t, you’re going to overload him and he’s going to push you away even more.
Don’t worry about coming off needy. You pulled away for a while. You shouldn’t be coming off that way. In fact, from here out on with other men, you need to create that context from the beginning. Take this as a lesson learned. Now you know.
I tell clients who are in a good position with the guy to reach out again for several reasons:
- He probably pulled away because it was too intense and needed a break
- Reaching out will give you context on how he feels so you don’t have to sit around worrying if he likes you or not. If he likes you he will see you. If he doesn’t then he won’t. Worse case scenario you’re back in the position you’re in right now.
- Seeing him will win him over. Not sitting back and waiting.
Don’t Just Pull Away And Do Nothing
Better yourself! Talk to other men. I hate when women put all their eggs in one basket and talk to one guy at a time when the guy is more strategic about it and is talking to numerous women. You’re already at a disadvantage.
Men need to know that you’re talking to other men. Don’t bring it up if he doesn’t ask but here is the thing: If you’re waiting around for a guy and he knows you’re crazy about him, why would he ever commit to you? There is no incentive or penalty for his actions. He knows he can go away and do what he wants and come back on his own convenience because guess what? You’re still going to be there waiting. There is no rush. He is going to do what he wants because he knows you’re crazy about him. If you’re single you need to talk to other men. If he asks, just say you’re talking to another guy but it’s not serious. That way he knows there is competition but it’s not a threat…yet.
If a guy knows that, he will be less likely to pull away.
I Want You But I Don’t Need You Mindset
Stop being whipped. As I said above, if he knows you need him in you life, it’s going to do two things:
- Push him away because no guy wants that responsibility of filling a void. It will freak him out.
- He will treat you casual because he knows you have no backbone and are not going anywhere.
You must create value. Scarcity is value. Don’t seem too eager. Just go with the flow. Even if he’s the one initiating, that doesn’t mean you have to go with it all the time.