There are a lot of reasons a guy pulls away. Most of them are your own self doing. There are guys out there who are jerks and never liked you however, jumping to that conclusion that he just wanted sex and didn’t care about you is a little far-fetched and I am going to explain why. In this article, I am going to go into detail on why a guy really pulls away and that he actually did like you at one point.
Men Usually Like To Go Casual First
I like to use the analogy of men and women attempting to online date to explain how men go about dating:
When women go online, they don’t go on to freeball it. They say they do and will back it up with phrases like, “Let’s see what happens” or “I don’t have any expectations” but most of the time, you do. You go online to find a partner. Maybe not as direct as “I want a boyfriend” but you would like some type of commitment.
Men on the other hand go on for a lot of reasons: ego boost, attention, sex, talking to more girl than one, and MAYBE a relationship.
With that being said, when a guy gets to know you, he start to scan you. He thinks the following:
- What are her pros?
- Benefits of dating her?
- Red flags?
- Is she hot?
- Easy to talk to?
- Did I already mention hot?
Men will sit there and scan these things while getting to know you. If things go great, then he will want to see you again. Rinse and repeat until he’s thinking, “Damn, this is a good woman. I want her to myself” and jumps into a relationship.
You can argue girls do the same thing but most don’t. Or if they have the intentions to, they buckle and want the relationship. While girls do go about it from date to date like guys do, it’s the intentions in the beginning that set men and women apart. Men have a freedom of outcome. Women do not most of the time.
What does this have to do with anything? The answer for that is in the next paragraph below.
He Pulled Away Because You Freaked Him Out
A lot of the times, it gets too serious too soon and a guy freaks out and pulls away. Women always argue that he’s the one showing the interest and always initiating. He’s the one blowing up my phone and wanting to see me. While that’s true, there is a reason for it. There is a reason you see it as okay and he doesn’t when it’s reciprocated. To understand that and go into great detail, I suggest you check out my:
Because men like to go about it casual, they like to take things slow. As soon as he feels the pressure he backs off. Of course he’s going to tell you he likes you and other things you want to hear. He has to win you over! That doesn’t mean it’s right but he does do it. In fact, I am willing to bet he means half those things but it may not seem like it because guys talk out there ass and in the moment.
As soon as it starts to get serious faster than he’s ready for, he pulls away. Why? Because if he doesn’t, then he is complying with you and telling you everything is great and that you’re on the same page when you’re not.
So did he like you? Probably. But you freaked him out.
The analogy I like to use here is adding ingredients to a pot:
Let’s say I met you online and our thing was hanging out once a week in the beginning, having sex, and watching movies. I ask you to sleep over, we have a fun time, and all is good.
On it’s own that sounds great right? Well, when you start adding other ingredients to the mix such as over texting, texting daily, wanting to see him all the time, talking about titles, and so on, it’s going to change what you’re cooking and he’s not going to like it. He’s going to freak out and pull away.
You just need to chill.
He Pulled Away Because It Wasn’t What He Wanted
At the same time, maybe he did like you at first and then go to know you and realized it’s not what he wanted. Maybe you’re not on his level sexually. Maybe you’re boring or not into the same things. Maybe he just didn’t feel the chemistry. These things happen but even when they do, that doesn’t mean he pulled away because he never liked you.
He just wasn’t feeling it.
If you want to prevent this, check out my Ultimate Value Guide
There May Have Been Another Girl
If you met the guy online, you can’t expect him to only be talking to you. That’s just ridiculous. There will be other competition online and that is where the illusion of online dating comes into play.
A lot of you love online dating because it’s easy, convenient, very low stress, and there is a catalog of men to talk to. However, because it’s all those great qualities, a lot of people are going to jump on board. It has a very low barrier of entry and when men can act like pigs online they’re going to talk to you and other women unless you’re official. I don’t care how much he likes you and how long you have been talking. If he is single, he’s talking to other women. Trust me.
I am not saying he pulled away for another woman. In fact, that’s uncommon. Why would he pull away from you instead of just talking to both of you?
I wouldn’t stress that it’s another girl but it is a possibility.
It’s Never One Thing (Room For Error)
It’s never one thing that pushes a guy away. It’s never one instance where he stands up and says, “I am done.” It may seem like it due to his impulsiveness but if a guy pulls away and ends it, it’s something that has been on his mind a while.
I explain that there is a room/margin for error when it comes to the women a man talks to. Every woman has SOME type of value. I don’t care if it’s so small that you can fit it on the tip of a ballpoint pen or if it’s so much that he can’t live without you. The amount of value you have determines your room for error.
Here is what I mean:
Let’s say you’re Katy Perry Or Jennifer Aniston and came up to me and wanted to date. In my eyes, you have a lot of value because I am very attracted to those two successful women. Because they have a lot of value, it would take a lot for them to turn me off and push me away. I know their value and that I won’t ever find someone as high as that again in my lifetime. I know I struck gold so if I pull away, I have to have a good reason. Instead, because I like you and I know the value of dating you, I am willing to take your minor flaws because they don’t outweigh the benefit of dating you.
If a guy pulled away, that doesn’t mean he didn’t like you. You probably did something wrong and he wasn’t feeling it. Most of the time, it’s the pressure and pacing of the relationship like I mentioned above.
There you go, let me know what you think. Are there other reasons why a guy pulls away from you?