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If He Pulls Away, This is How He Does It – Why Do Guys Pull Away

If He Pulls Away, This is How He Does It – Why Do Guys Pull Away

A great relationship is something we all strive to have. Sharing those experiences, moments, and memories with someone is one of the best feelings you can experience in your life. However, when you open up your heart, there is a chance of it being broken. It doesn’t always go the way we want and the guy who was by your side at one time is the same guy who pulls away and makes you think twice about opening up again. In this article, I am going to explain why guys pull away and if he does, this is how he’s going to do it.

Top Reasons A Guy Pulls Away

There are a lot of reasons a guy pulls away. It’s not always bad so don’t feel down. However, the reasons usually always come down to two categories:

It Moves Too Fast And Too Intense

why do guys pull away

A lot of the time, it moves too fast and freaks the guy out. Even if the guy is the one initiating, he’s not going to justify his own actions. He’s not going to say,

“I am moving too fast with her and need to slow down.”

No. He’s not going to questions his actions towards you because it will conflict with his desires. It doesn’t always mean “relationship” when a guy initiates contact. Sometimes it’s to fill a void. Other times he likes the attention or even potential on where it could go.


Once he sees you going at the same speed as him in terms of intensity and speed, it’s a mirror to his actions and the vibe gets too serious too soon. When that happens, he sometimes realizes a serious relationship isn’t what he wants. If that is the case, then the guy is in a conflict.

His conflict is if he keeps complying, he’s telling you he’s on the same page when he’s not. If he keeps texting you, blowing up your phone, always wanting to see you, and so on, it’s giving you the sign that everything is okay when it may not be.

That is why my philosophy is to keep a steady pace WITHOUT bringing up red flags or titles so you can get your reps in, not scare the guy away, and get him hooked.

I have an AMAZING video on the topic below:

He Didn’t Want Anything In The First Place (Not A Bad Thing)

Other times, the guy doesn’t want anything in the first place. I know that sounds like bad news but it’s not. Guys and girls go about dating differently.

Women always have an outcome. They usually go about dating and online dating with the end goal of seeing where it goes and/or to find a boyfriend. There is no freedom of outcome.

Guys on the other hand go about dating many different ways. They will do it for attention, an ego boost, sex, sex, sex, and to see what is out there.

From there, a guy takes it one step at a time. He may be intense but that is some guy’s ways of figuring out if something there. He does it one date at a time. If he takes you out and has fun, he wants to do it again. If you do it again and succeed, he will ask to see you a third time. That can only happen so many times before he commits. It’s about getting your “reps” in, getting him to invest, and build attraction. Once attraction is built to a certain level, a relationship will come.

So what am I getting at? Simply, who cares if he doesn’t want a relationship. It is your job to build attraction to the point of a relationship. If he doesn’t want one in the beginning (which is usually how it goes) it’s suppose to be your attraction, rapport, and depth that changes his mind. Of course he doesn’t want one in the beginning! There is no desire. There is nothing to want or chase. You must create that.

How A Guy Pulls Away

Why do guys pull away

A guy usually doesn’t pull away in the beginning. He pulls away after it gets serious. Here are the ways he’s going to do so:

Excuses He’s Going To Make:

  • He’s going to make excuses:
    • “I’ve been really busy lately with work.”
    • “I have been really sick”
    • “Family issues”
    • “I am not looking for anything serious.”

It’s crazy to me how women fall for this so easily. Sure, if he says it once that’s fine but if you start to feel a shift, you better believe he’s pulling away. I always tell women that you have to look at the context: Where were all these problems in the beginning? Why are they all coming up now and being consistent. Even if they were true, why isn’t he trying to reconnect or re plan for something? I know if I was dating a girl, I would always reschedule or have a rain check.

hot things to text a guy

Being Distant and Lower Frequency

The first thing he’s going to do is create distance and lower frequency. The texting is going to become less and there is going to be more distance between them. He’s not going to ask you to hangout. In fact, he’s going to make an excuse on why he can’t and hope you take the hint. He’s going to act as if he is off the face of the Earth.

This is the number one way he will pull away from you. And this is also where women lose the guy because they chase. It gives him more power. Women reveal their “cards” and he can act accordingly to the new information given. That is why I tell women to sit back and let him contact you. That’s not going to hurt you at all.

Now, if you want to pull away, I suggest you watch this video so you do it correctly:

If you have any more questions, just leave them in the comments below. I would love to hear from you!

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About Me

What's going on everybody? It's your favorite dating coach, Elliot Scott! I am a 29 year old who lives in Boise ID spending most of my time doing what I love most: helping people find quality relationships