If you want to learn the best ways on how to tell if a guy likes you even if tries to hide it then this post is for you. I don’t care if a guy is trying to hide the fact that he likes you. The truth is, it ALWAYS comes out over time. Attraction is not a choice and if he truly has a crush on you and wants you to be his girlfriend and hopes for a relationship, then the stuff I am going to tell you below are great signs that he likes you.
Effort Over Time Is A Good Indicator A Guy Likes You
You probably judge if a guy likes you based on his effort and initiation. That’s a good thing but you’re going about it the wrong way especially if a guy likes you but is trying to hide it.
In the beginning, most guys will show a lot of interest in the beginning for several reasons:
- He may actually like you
- He just wants to hit and quit
- He thinks he wants something serious but when it actually gets serious, it’s not what he wants
- He likes the attention
- Just because he shows a lot of interest in the beginning doesn’t mean he wants a relationship
The thing you get wrong is a guy most like shows a lot of interest in the beginning but after 2-6 weeks, it usually dies off. Why?
I can get into the evolutionary aspects of it but I would be wasting your time. Just know that’s how guys do it. They usually show a lot of interest in the beginning then it dies off fast if they’re not interested. That means the biggest mistake you can make is match that intensity. Don’t think that his abundance in affection is a green light for you to do the same. Just go with the flow instead.
Whether the guy is shy or trying to hide his feelings, they always come out over time. There is a reason he’s trying to hide his feelings but if you chip away at him over time, remain consistent, and open him up, you will get a different person. Don’t worry about him expressing his feelings for the first month when you two start seriously talking (not flirting, I mean where it’s obvious you like each other). He’s just putting up a wall. With rapport, trust, sexual tension, and building value, you can break that down. Remember, attraction isn’t a choice.
Risk Or Totally Avoiding Risk. Why Do Guys Hide Their feelings?
When a guy likes you, he may be willing to take risk. That means he will be more willing to put himself out there, open up, invest some time and effort into you, spend some money, and try to win over your affection. But what if he doesn’t do that? Does that mean he doesn’t like you? Well that depends.
I think it’s obvious if a guy likes you strictly based on the stuff I said above about his effort over time. Listen:
- If he’s showing a little effort but does it over time, he likes you. I mean more than just checking up on you or reaching out here and there.
- If he isn’t taking risk on you but again, is still around over time, he likes you. Even if he doesn’t, he’s still investing a lot of time in you which almost always leads down the path of attachment.
If He Likes Me, Why Is He Hiding His Feelings? Is He Shy?
There are many reasons a guy hides his feelings:
- To regain power over the situation
- To make you chase
- Mind games
- Society and media tells him not to express himself
- He feels that if you know he likes you then the chase is gone and he has no more “bargaining power”
- He’s insecure
- He doesn’t trust you yet with that power
I can go on and on with the reasons a guy is hiding his feelings. The important thing to know is to not let it phase you. You wanting to know if he likes you is a personal problem. That is you trying to seek validation that he likes you. You want to hear it for your own peace in mind. Don’t worry about that. Attraction will do its part and if he likes you, it doesn’t matter if he says it or not. His feelings and emotional arousal is still going to be there building up in him.
If He Likes You He Can’t Help Jealousy
I am not saying to try to make him jealous to open him up. That would backfire. It would put you in a Me Vs You Mindset and trust me you will lose. The one who has more feelings always loses. However, his jealousy can dictate his actions.
If I were you, I wouldn’t try to make him jealous but I wouldn’t give him the attention you’re giving him if he’s not willing to open up and play. See, the reason guys can get away with the stuff they do is 1) they know they can and 2) because you let them. If you were to show him the attention you show every other guy, then he has to do two things:
- Step up, open up, and play
- Or accept it and stay closed off while you go talk to other guys
Again, please don’t rub this in his face. I am not suggesting you pull away or play mind games. Just have a life of your own. Too many women try to open a guy up and fail miserably.
If you truly want to open up a guy and get him to fall crazy in love with you, I suggest you check out my Ultimate Value Guide. I give you everything you need to know there.
He May Not Initiate But Because He Likes You He Won’t Turn You Down
I tell a lot of my clients that the main goal is to get the date no matter what. That means if you must initiate more than he does in the beginning then so be it. If you don’t come off needy, overdo it, and he says yes, then you must ASSUME he likes you since he agreed to going out with you. If he didn’t like you he wouldn’t put himself through that date especially if he knows you like him too. You all may say that he’s being nice or sees you as a friend but it’s not about WHY he is doing something. As long as you get the date, you can build attraction.
Which gets me onto the point: If he doesn’t initiate it then he’s trying to hide it BUT if he isn’t turning you down then he likes your company which is a sign he likes you.
This may sound like common sense but I know how women get in their own heads and go crazy not knowing exactly how a guy feels. I am here to clear your head about that stuff. If a guy likes you, he’s going to want to spend time with you. If he doesn’t, then he’s going to avoid you like the plague. Guys just don’t say yes to a girl for a date to be “nice”. Guys don’t care about that. It’s usually a selfish gain on why guys say yes to a woman such as he wants her company or he likes her.
Let me know what you think in the comments below. Are there any other ways to tell if a guy likes you? Why do you think men hide their feelings even though they like you?
6 thoughts on “BEST Tips On How To Tell If A Guy Likes You Even When He Tries To Hide It”
Your advice is always so honest so very helpful. I am not finding any info on this topic:
My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful. We see each other regularly on weekends, he texts every day, is generous, kind and affectionate.
We have been dating about 20 months and I have let him know I am not going to be a six year girlfriend he eventually breaks up with. He is a very successful doctor, is 50 years old, and had a 6 yr relationship that ended when he was younger. I broke up with him a couple of months ago because it didn’t feel like things were going anywhere, but he kept checking in with me daily so we decided to give it another try. He said we should “have the conversation” about what marriage would look like (I offered a pre-nump, no major changes until we are both ready as I am switching careers and am also very busy, etc.). When we go out, he still seems very determined to be on his own, like very, very, VERY independent. For example, I mentioned I could use my sewing machine to hem our pants. Right away he said he could get his own sewing machine to hem his own pants and everyone should have their own tools in their own house. He hasn’t made any attempts “to have the conversation.” Sure, he just opened his own office for his practice, but it seems there is always some huge reason why he can’t make things at least “feel” more permanent. I turn 40 in December, and want to let him feel happy to be with me and not trapped or tricked, and I also want to feel like my time is well spent. He assures me he is not trying to meet other people and I believe him.Is there a way to tell more fundamentally if someone is just a “stringer-along” or if this is just normal male behavior and some men just need more key triggers to committ? Does culture play a role? I am hispanic so by all accounts became an old maid by age 16, and he is Chinese so should be with someone a decade before really considering them (exaggerations, of course, but I am wondering if this matters).
PS Elliot, I love your advice and have just one big overall question. When can we hope to see more videos on what to do next to push things along when a guy DOES clearly like you? Almost nobody ever addresses that from dating coaches. Everyone tells us what to look for if they don’t like us, which sets up kinda lots of self-fulfilling sabotage in those of us that don’t really know what to do (especially older single ones of us). What if he DOES like us but is also a total relationship dork? Or what if there are just like minor changes we can make in our approach that let him know he is better off married in a stable relationship over long-term vs lots of short-lived, expensive, whirlwinds?
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