I am a guy and I would be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes, I can’t stand how we act. When a guy is jealous, he acts like a big baby. Some guys are great with it and know how to handle the situation. They don’t let it escalate and get the girl’s attention again. Other guys however freak out and think you’re such a bitch and have to make you pay. In this article, I am going to go over not only the signs he’s jealous and hiding it but why men get jealous and why they try to hide it.
The Top Signs A Guy Is Jealous And Likes You
There are plenty of signs and hints that a guy is jealous of you even if he tries to hide it. The top things that stick out to me as a dating coach are:
- He pulls away in hopes you chase (he wants validation)
- He competes for you amongst other men
- He tries to make you jealous of him (again, we need validation)
- He plays his jealousy off like he doesn’t care but you can tell he does
- He starts to ask questions about your whereabouts or who you’re talking to
- He leaves his masculine energy and goes into more feminine energy to seek approval
- He acts out of character where you can tell something is wrong (Territorial or aggressive)
Here is a chart of the 6 most common things he does when he’s jealous:
If there is anything you get out of this article, know that it is very easy to tell if a guy is jealous of you. You just have to focus on two things:
- The fact that men need validation and when they’re jealous, they will find ways to seek it
- You have to compare how he was before being jealous versus how he’s acting now. If your gut is telling you he’s jealous, he probably is.
Why Guys Get Jealous: If You Know This, You Can Make Any Guy Jealous
It is our job as men to win women over. That is how the evolutionary process goes. If we can’t convince a woman that we are a catch and worthy of her time, then by definition, we are sterile.
We as men strongly associate our power, success, self-esteem, and self-worth with how well we can attract quality women. If he can’t he’s going to have a world of problems.
Jealousy, from an evolutionary perspective, is a defense mechanism telling him that his assets are in danger or there is a threat of them being taken away. He obviously doesn’t want this. Why? Several reasons:
- It took resources to win you over
- He has evolutionary advantages over having these assets you give him (if you’re a highly sought after woman for example, if he has you, his status is boosted because he has something everyone else wants)
- Losing you as an asset to another man not only lowers his status and ego, but the man has an evolutionary advantage over him now. This can be both personal and social. For example, if we look at it from a social perspective, he doesn’t look as desirable to other women if he isn’t able to keep a woman around If his job is to be a provider and satisfied, a woman leaving him for another man gives off the assumption he’s not doing his job. From a more personal perspective, maybe he invested a lot in you then lost you to another man or he saw you as the perfect mate for his future family but now the other man has the advantage of you being his perfect mate.
The best way to know if a guy is jealous or to even make him jealous is to look at it from the perspective of the 3 bullet points above. It’s all evolutionary. If he invests in you, likes you, or is getting an advantage from you and he feels there is a threat such as him losing you to another man or you becoming disinterested, that will spark jealousy in him.
I have a VERY good article below that will help you in making a guy regret leaving you. Yes, you can make him jealous even if he’s the one who pulled away:
That is not how it works. If a guy tells you he doesn’t want a girlfriend and you stick around, then by logic (because he said he doesn’t want a girlfriend and you stick around), you’ve moved into the causal-friends-with-benefits category.
Instead, you need to avoid that talk altogether for the first 8 weeks and just focus on having fun and winning him over. When you have that talk at the end of the 8 weeks and he doesn’t comply, kick him to the side.
NOTE: It’s important to understand that if a man gets jealous and he’s the low-ego/insecure type, he IS going to try to play mind games to regain an advantage. Do NOT overlook this. Here are two very in-depth guides to help you stay one step ahead of him:
MUST-READ: The Ultimate Guide On His Mind Games
And of course, if you do end up losing power, I have another in-depth article you should check out:
Why Do Guys Hide Their Jealousy? Why Not Just Tell Me And Solve The Problem?
Men hide it because we are power envy. You can mark it up as a masculine thing or that society doesn’t like seeing mean as weaklings and I would say you’re right. However, we hide it because of how a lot of men view relationships. We think:
- She wants a strong man. Not a bitch
- If I show her my feelings she has the power
- I don’t want to reveal my cards
- I don’t want to seem eager or emotional
- I don’t want to be turned down
- I am not going to reveal my jealousy because I don’t even know if she likes me
At the end of the day, it comes down to power. Men just don’t want to give up ground and we believe if we show signs of weakness, you will devour us.
How To Tell If A Guy Is Jealous Of Me Talking To Other Men
First, I would argue that the majority of men will feel some type of jealousy if you’re showing more interest in one man over him. That doesn’t mean he will react, stop you, or call you out. But it’s normal for us to feel that.
As I said earlier, a guy gets jealous because there is a threat to the “advantages” he has over other men. This advantage would be he has access to you. You’re an advantage because you have assets whether that’s him enjoying his time with you, hooking up, the validation you give him, you being an option, and so on. When these things are being threatened, jealousy arises because the natural primitive reason for jealousy is to warn us that there is a threat to our assets.
What a lot of women don’t put together is that even if he doesn’t like you, he can still get jealous. A “threat” doesn’t always mean he’s jealous due to his feelings for you. It can also be a hit to his ego that will spark jealousy. No man wants to lose a woman to another guy. That will scar him for future women he’s trying to attract. If it happens enough, he may become emotionally unavailable. That is why men are so protective and territorial when it comes to this kind of stuff. The more unstable or emotionally unavailable he is, the more likely you’re going to see those patterns.
I think the signs that he’s jealous of other men would be the following:
It’s not a good idea to intentionally make a guy jealous of other men. There is no point in doing that. I am not saying it can’t work. But I think the risk is high especially when women naturally care more for the man and outcome than the average man does. If you’re going to try to make him jealous to get a certain outcome, be prepared for him to retaliate in a way you may not like. If you think the average guy is going to sit around and take that in the modern dating age ESPECIALLY if you’re not official, not a chance.
The only way you should be making a guy jealous of you talking to other men is by having the aura of a high-value woman who seems to be sought after. Men just assume that if they don’t snatch you up, another man will. This is what I call defensive dating. The man will think, “Well, I better take her off the market because if I don’t, another man will.”
To get into depth on how to attract men and hook them, I suggest you check out my course Attraction Academy which you can find here.
30 Foolproof Signs He’s Jealous And Hiding It
I want to give you a bunch of signs on how to tell if a guy is jealous. However, the TOP 8 are going to be my clear and obvious signs that he’s jealous and trying to hide it. This is stuff guys do repeatedly because of the things I said above referring to why they get jealous and why he’s going to attempt to hide it from you. It’s more evolutionarily driven and human instinct. The other 22 things won’t be as common and based on his personality and the situation.
NOTE: This is not all men. This is usually low ego men who are insecure and/or don’t have a strong dating history. Normal men are not like this. I do not do these things when I am jealous. I let her do her thing because she’s not my girlfriend. If I don’t like it, I need to commit to her.
-He tries to rub shit in your face. Low ego men are really petty. He’s going to rub so much shit in your face if he’s jealous just to show you he doesn’t need you.
-He has that I don’t give a shit attitude. You may see him starting to act like an asshole so prepare. I highly suggest you don’t react to it because it only gives him power. The best thing to do is to excuse yourself from the situation by saying you’re tired or got to go. Leave him hanging instead. Teach him a lesson.
-He plays hard to get. He’s going to make you learn the hard way. If you’re talking to another guy, he’s going to pull away and see how you like it. He’s going to try to condition you in learning that if you talk to another guy, you’re going to deal with the consequences
-He starts to pull away. That’s right. If he’s jealous he has a chance of pulling away. Where women go wrong here is they back off on the thing they were doing that made him jealous. I am not saying make him jealous on purpose but please don’t lower your standards or change your life for a guy who is not your boyfriend. Just because you’re afraid of losing him doesn’t mean you have to ease back on things you want to do. That is counterproductive for two reasons:
If you do pull back, that guy gets A LOT of power. He knows you’re interested and that you want him.
He will use it against you. You just conditioned him to pull away and act like an asshole if things don’t go his way. Instead, if he gets jealous, you need to play it casually and flirt. Try to pivot off the topic and smile. I would even go as far and say, “Well I like you too so if you don’t want me on the market then take me off.”
-He makes it a power struggle. Guys are such egomaniacs. He doesn’t want to lose to the likes of you. He’s going to make sure you pay! If he feels he’s more interested in you than you are him, he’s going to try to find ways to gain power. That could be from pulling away, talking to other women, being passive-aggressive, and pretty much everything else I talk about on this top 8 list. It’s a me vs you mindset for a lot of low ego and insecure men. That is why I beg women not to date any guy just because you like him. If he’s insecure, low ego doesn’t have a dating history, and so on, then you need to have your guard up because those are the men who act like babies.
-He tries to make you chase him. He’s going to make you chase. He’s a powerful man. He’s not going to chase you. If he does, it’s not going to last.
-He starts to talk to other girls and give off the vibe of a player. This comes back around to making you pay the price. If you can flirt, he’s going to show you he can too.
-He is passive-aggressive. Guys aren’t going to tell you straight up they’re jealous. That’s not in our nature. Instead, he’s going to do things in order for you to take a hint.
Other Signs A Guy Is Jealous:
- He sucks up to you
- He asks a lot of questions but doesn’t want to seem eager
- Your friends can tell he’s jealous
- He changes his behavior suddenly
- Acts masculine when he’s not
- Tries to win you over
- Always asks about your plans and what you’re doing
- Seems way too over-eager
- Texts you a bunch
- Stops texting you
- Stops by more often
- Stalks your social media
- If you’re out, he wants to leave all of a sudden
- He creates space between you two because he doesn’t like what he’s seeing
- He goes into his feminine energy
- He goes out more
- He goes out with the “guys” more
- When you ask him if anything is wrong, he says “nothing”
- Little things you do makes him mad
- He becomes dramatic
- Friends and family get involved in the problem
Let me know what you think. Do you have any clear signs that a guy is jealous but hiding it? What do you do when you’re jealous? How do you hide it from us?