Everyone looking for love is probably doing everything in their power to attract the right partner. As a woman, there is a good chance that you have deliberately programmed most of your actions to appear appealing and attractive to the opposite sex. It might, however, surprise you to hear that some of the things you are doing are actually ruining your chances of getting a man.
There are certain things that most women do; things that guys find extremely unattractive! The problem is that some of these actions are considered ‘womanly’ and have made their way into becoming commonplace for women allover. While they are supposedly supposed to be attractive towards men, they actually do the exact opposite and drive them away:
Men like to be needed, but they do not like needy women!
Every man wants to know and feel like he is the King of his Castle. Most women understand this and that is why that whole ‘damsel in distress’ thing almost always works out really well. Red blooded men want to come to the rescue of a good looking woman. It makes them feel manly and just a tinny bit superhero-like. The problem comes in when women take things too far and become needy instead.
You will absolutely ruin your chances with him if you do certain things such as:
- Call him all the time
- Bitch and moan about him not spending enough time with you
- Have no life outside of him
- Constantly nag him to hang out with you
- Use sex as a bargain chip to get him to do what you want
- Be a damsel in distress every waking moment of every day
Allowing him to take charge of certain situations and ‘be your man’ is all well and good but men also want a strong woman who can stand on her own.
Why being needy will only chase him away
Being needed and catering to a needy person are two very different things. If somewhere along the line you realized that men like to do things for you; come to your rescue, as it were, and you decided to take advantage of that fact, then power to you!
Just know this though, as soon as you begin to become needy, those men will steer clear of you in record time. Men do not like needy women. Not only are they are handful, they are:
- High maintenance
I’m pretty sure these are all not trait with which you would like to be associated. There are other, more foolproof ways to attract men other than being needy. Ways that will not only make it possible for you to attract the right kind of guy, but to do so while keeping your dignity and independence.
In your quest to attract the right kind of mind, avoid doing the following things if you do not want to chase guy after guy up the hills.
Seek his validation
The thing about being chronically needy is that you begin to borrow and attach your identity to what your partner says it is! It is essentially giving the other person the power to tell you who you are and determine what you are worth! Is that really something you want to leave in the hands of someone else? Women who constantly seek their man’s validation run the risk of:
- Losing themselves in the relationship
- Attracting emotionally unavailable men
- Always looking to be in a relationship
These are all very fast tracked ways to becoming someone’s doormat. There are very bad men out there; men who will not hesitate to take advantage of any situation. As soon as you give him the power to determine what you are worth to him, you will quickly find that you are worth nothing. He will use you for his own means and at the end of it all, cast you aside because he knows he can get you back whenever he wants.
Over Chase Him
Have you ever wondered why they say that ‘women run the world’? Because you have something that men are always chasing after. And as long as you remain the person being chased, you remain the most powerful person in that equation.
As soon as you give up that position of advantage and begin chasing your man, then you have handed your power over to him. This will quickly become unattractive to him mostly because, whether he is aware of it or not, he is genetically programmed to chase you!
The BIGGEST problem women have is they always fall harder than the guy to the point where they desire him so much they fear losing him. What does this do? It causes her to chase, lower your standards, and HOPE to that the guy subconsciously takes advantage of her and the situation. If you chase so hard to the point where he knows he has, you, why would he commit? He has the best of both worlds! In fact, he’s going to go do what he wants because he knows you’re not going anywhere. There is no urgency or threat because you have no backbone. Don’t fall into this trap.
Have Him As The Only Option
There is something to be said for social proof. Have you ever wondered why almost every man always wants to talk to that girl at the party who seems to know everyone? If she is busy working the room yet not committing to any particular group or man, then she immediately becomes desirable because she has an accumulative social value. She is:
- Liked by others
- Capable of getting whoever she wants
All these things send a signal to the men around her that she is not desperate. If anything, it tells them that she is the ‘PRIZE’ that they need to win. Women come to me often and say that the guy always gets mad when she’s talking to other men or that she’s out dating. GOOD! It’s such a great manipulation tactic guys pull and women fall for it all the time. As soon as he acts upset, she cowards away in hopes to make him feel better. Stop doing that. Instead, if he doesn’t like it, he needs to commit.
Your man needs to know that you have options; that you have a life outside of your relationship with him. This level of perceived competition is healthy. It will keep him working constantly to keep you as opposed to chasing other women. As soon as he realizes he has something other men want, he will work jealously to keep it to himself. We are selfish like that!
Pushing For the Relationship Or Too Much Too Soon
Ohhhh…this is a big one. Unfortunately, most women make this mistake over and over. Sometimes even without realizing it. This is the number one reasons guys pull away. You put forth the pressure before you get him hooked. Don’t put the cart before the horse. Play the long game. Get him hooked so he has something to lose. Stop playing the game based off your emotions and start playing it based off what is actually happening. It’s always easy for him to say no and walk away because you haven’t hooked him yet. You have created the desire he fears losing yet.
They want a man to commit one week into their connection. This leads them to ask questions such as:
- Where is this headed?
- Is all you wanted was sex?
- What are we?
You also go on to make other cardinal mistakes such as:
- Calling him all the time
- You are always available when he calls
- You bring up meeting friends and family all the time
- You chase after him
These are all red flags that will have him doing everything he can to ignore you. The most polite of men will slowly and smoothly pull away. You will slowly begin to realize that he takes forever to return your calls, if ever and that he doesn’t want to meet up with you as much as before. He might even stop having sex with you all together. Which, of course, will make you more desperate to regain his affections.
Questioning Him About Everything
This is tantamount to pressurizing him into a relationship. If you ever question a man about your relationship or why he isn’t committing to you, know that you will be:
- Immediately opening yourself up for lies
- Coming off as desperate and unattractive
It is not your job to question him about it. It is your job to use your subtle, feminine wiles to get him to do the things you want him to do. If you are doing it right, then he will keep thinking all those things are his idea and you will have your man in your pocket without being too obvious about it.
Many of these mistakes happen because most women don’t even realize they are making them. Regardless of that, I guarantee you, if you are doing any of these 5 things, then you are going to lose your man!