Take a second to think about it – why do you miss the things that you miss? Chances are very good that the reasons you come up with would make up part of the reasons why he would miss you…if he were to miss you.
How do you make him miss you?
Here are some of the main reasons why most people miss things:
- They made them feel good.
- They filled a certain need in their lives.
- They quickly realized the value of what they had and they want it back.
If you look carefully, you will see that while some of these needs can be satiated physically, they all happen to be psychological needs.
For him to miss you, it’s going to come down to his psychological needs!
WHAT PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS WOULD MAKE HIM MISS YOU?
As a species, we have certain psychological needs that we simply cannot resist. These are needs that form part of our evolutionary psyche.
For a man to start missing you, these needs have to be psychologically triggered and there are many ways through which you can do that but first, you must know what they are for your man in particular. This means learning things like:
- What needs did you satiate for him?
- What did you supply him with that he just can’t live without or is finding it difficult to?
- What is the value you bring that he finds irresistible?
Every man has different psychological needs but for the most part, they tend to circle back to these main four:
- Acceptance: Everyone wants to be accepted by the people they love or admire. That is why rejection often hurts so bad. Everyone wants to be a part of something bigger/ the larger society and to him, you might represent that society.
- Comfort: We all want to feel good and content as much as possible. If you made him feel loved, happy, comfortable and content when he was with you then there is a good chance that he will miss you once that is taken away from him.
- Assets: Sexual desire and intimacy is a big part of the basic needs for every adult. This comes back to what assets were you providing? The best sex? Accessibility?
- Distress: Most people value their peace of mind more than anything else. Were you his source of relaxation? Whenever he was with you, was he at peace and happy or were you guys constantly at each other’s throats?
WHY DO MEN PULL AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE?
If you are looking for ways to make him miss you then it must mean that he has pulled away somewhat. While men often do this, sometimes out of their own selfishness…you know:
- He just wanted to hit it and quit it.
- He is just too emotionally unavailable.
- He is just a selfish prick.
Sometimes, it’s not about the man. Sometimes men pull away because of the things you do. Granted, men who pull away because of their own selfishness are really not worth fighting for and you are better off forgetting them.
However, if men always pull away from you, then it might be beneficial to try and see if it’s something you are doing.
Here is one of the main reason why men tend to pull away from women:
These are questions that women ask after sex for their own validation or for whatever reason. These questions include:
- What are you looking for?
- Where is this going?
- Am I wasting my time with you?
- Is sex all you wanted?
- What are we?
These are all questions that pressure the guy and make him feel as if you are too anxious and desperate. Which will lead him to start ignoring you.
What you want to do is to get him so attracted to you that you become something of a basic need for him. Get him obsessed so much that he can’t stand losing you and wants to claim you for himself.
HOW TO MAKE A GUY MISS YOU EVEN AFTER HE PULLS AWAY?
Okay, let’s assume that you have made a mistake or he has pulled away and you want him to miss you because you actually liked him. What many women do in this case is start throwing themselves at the guy.
This is a mistake.
This creates an abundance of you when what you want to create is scarcity!
You don’t want him thinking he can get you whenever he feels like it because that devalues you in his eyes. So, to make him miss you even after he has started pulling away, don’t try to cling on to him. Do this instead:
- Cut fast: Give him a complete radio blackout. No social media, no texting, no dropping by whenever he calls. Just stop all communications. This will rip you out of his life and if you had any value to him, he will start noticing that difference soon enough.
- Make him know that you are not an option: Don’t run when he calls. He needs to know that you are not always available for him to use as he pleases. This quickly raises your value and he begins to realize that if he wants you in his life he has to invest his resources in you. Meaning time, money, emotions and so on.
- Use social media triggers: Just live your best life on social media so he sees that you are doing just fine without him. This will remind him of how fun you used to be and how much he loved hanging out with you.
- Reach out at least once: The thing is, sometimes, he wasn’t ignoring you because he doesn’t like you or doesn’t value. For the most part, people have other things going on in their lives that may keep them from reaching out. So just reach out once after like a week or a couple of weeks of no communication just to see if he is okay. Give it a plutonic touch.
Finally, if he ever does reach out and wants to get things back to where they were before he pulled away, don’t give in too easily. Make sure he understands that you value yourself as well as time and if he is going to be in your life he shouldn’t treat you like an option.
MUST-READ: If He Pulls Away Can He Still Miss You?
WHAT WILL MAKE HIM CHASE YOU EVEN AFTER HE PULLS AWAY?
By cutting communications and using social triggers (without interacting with him directly online) you essentially triggered his psychological need to be with you. He probably started realizing just how much he wants you in his life.
He has slowly begun to realize your value.
When he reaches out after ghosting you for a while and having gone through all these psychological triggers, here is what’s going on through his mind:
- He misses the best traits you had: He realizes what he had and wants it back. Whether it’s emotional maturity, your assets, the peace of mind you gave him…you name it.
- He has experienced worse: The savage truth is that all human beings think they can do better. That is until they try that out and realize that you were the best thing to happen to them. In some cases, he will reach back out because he has experienced worse in his dating life and now values what you brought to the table even more.
- He is severely lacking your assets: Whatever those are – whether it’s the great sex, the comforting pillow talks afterward or the peace of mind you gave him…he is missing that and wants it back.
WHAT TO DO IF HE DOESN’T MISS YOU?
Sometimes, even after all this, you will find that the guy just doesn’t miss you as much as you want him to and he keeps pulling away. At that point, what you want to do is the same thing: pull away and keep pulling.
Do not think that you can change his mind or that by being within his atmosphere he will start to cherish you. This will only make you abundant and an option for whenever he wants a plaything.
You are better than that, ladies.
The steps are pretty straight forward:
- Create value – Make him miss you.
- Pull away – 100%.
- Triggers – social media triggers.
If these don’t work, cut your losses and let it be. That man didn’t know your value to begin with and he may never see it. This is not a situation that you can turn around. Chances are you will only end up hurt and feeling used.