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How To Make A Guy Jealous In A Long Distance Relationship

If you want to get a guy jealous in a long distance relationship, it’s easier than you think.

I remember a time I had a girl I was dating accidentally made me jealous by the things I will talk about in this article. Please be cautious of using this though because making someone jealous is a petty and egotistical thing. If you think it’s healthy or going to have him running back to how things used to be, that’s not going to happen.

How To Make A Guy Jealous In A Long Distance Relationship

To make a guy jealous in a long-distance relationship, you must show that there is a risk of losing the assets he gets from you. This can be done by changing up your guy’s routine, pulling away, showing you’re going out more, and pictures to build a “story” or document the changes.

I first want to jump on the topic of making someone jealous by explaining from an evolutionary perspective what jealousy is:

Think of jealousy as a defensive mechanism instinctively embedded in us to warn us of threats that may take our assets (that we invested in) away which in return puts us at a disadvantage, lowers our survival rating, or our ability to reproduce.

Things that can make men jealous are:

  • Other men
  • Better men
  • Risk of losing assets
  • The “unknown” will cause him to get in his own head.
  • Women realizing he’s not the only option/good as he seems
  • Men who don’t get as much validation and approval as other men
  • Men who can’t attract or keep women as well as he believes he should be
  • Men who love a woman who loves someone else/don’t return the favor
  • A man who invests heavily in a woman and gets nothing in return

The importance isn’t so much the list as the two categories these things fall in which are: Ego and Emotion

Ego has to do with losing the assets gained in a way that hurts the man internally. That can be caused by:

  • him comparing himself to others
  • losing it to someone better
  • realizing he’s not the hot shot anymore
  • having competition that is causing him to work for it
  • Not getting access to the assets as easily as he once did and having to invest more for it.

Even if a guy doesn’t like you, the fact that we are so status-driven and egotistical still makes him chase you for the assets that he could be losing to other men.

Furthermore, if he can’t get you to like him, a girl who he took advantage of, then how does he believe he can get other women to fall for him that he likes?

I know that sounds ridiculous but it’s not. I have a saying (I know I have a lot)

When it comes to validation, there is accuracy in numbers.

That means men want validation from multiple women because it secures the idea that he’s a catch. Trust me, even a small defeat like a woman turning him down can stick in his brain for a while. It will take triple the “yes’s” to nullify the “no.”

NOTE: I don’t recommend you try to make someone jealous. If you’re together, I rather you communicate and talk things out and if you don’t get what you want MOVE ON (and if you can’t then make him jealous lol).

Here is why:

If you’re doing it to get him back and it’s long distance, it’s going to backfire.

A long-distance relationship is a liability. Can they work out? Yes, of course. However, they’re inherently a liability if you’re comparing them to a non-distance relationship and if you’re in an LDR, making him jealous probably because of something he’s already doing wrong such as pulling away, not sure, or taking you for granted, he’s going to ask:

Why am I even in this? What is the benefit I am getting in the LDR?

Probably nothing if you’re purposely making him jealous.

Emotion is pretty self-explanatory.

It’s his feelings for you, he is going to fall hard. I would NOT recommend making this guy jealous. If you are doing it for your own validation or you want him to give you a lot of attention, it’s better to communicate it first.

The only time I would try to make a dude jealous in a long-distance relationship (even then, I wouldn’t, I would just grow up and move on) is after you two are done, pulled away, and it’s over.

There is absolutely no reason to make him jealous when in a relationship or talking seriously. I am not saying that due to my moral code. It’s not logically in your best interest.

As I said earlier, it will be seen as a liability. Guys start making their decisions on if they want to be with a woman due to a pros and cons list.

If it’s causing him more harm than good to keep you around, he’s going to let you go.

He also may call your bluff and make you jealous back. If that is the case, trust me, he’s going to win. Especially if you’re making him jealous due to liking him and wanting him to pay more attention to you.

If you’re posting pictures with dudes, he’s going to call you out, get upset, and maybe post pictures with other women. If he doesn’t, be sure, he’s talking to other women.

Yes. If you do it, he will be flirting with other women.

Why wouldn’t he be? Men are risk avoidant. If you’re showing signs of pulling away or changing by making him jealous, he is going to look for a backup plan.

I have seen it dozens of times and every time it backfires in the woman’s face especially if the man’s emotions are not completely there.

If the emotions are there, it could go two ways:

One, it can have him chase you hard and get extremely jealous. This is usually men who are insecure, lack experience, have a lack of options, and you’re out of his league.

Two, to avoid the pain, he drops you altogether because it’s impossible in his mind to make it work due to the distance. He wants to end it now before he gets hurt.

To sum it up though, I would make him jealous by doing three simple things:

  • Never reaching out or opening his stories
  • Posting pics of you and your life as if you don’t give a shit
  • switch up your routine meaning, if you two talked a lot, talk less. Take longer to reply. This is only if you’re done with him and broken up or stopped talking.

Let me know what you think. While I do believe you can easily make some jealous in a LDR, I don’t think it’s worth it if you’re trying to fix the relationship or get him to give you more attention.

I think it’s best to not do it but if you do, it’s at the end after he lost you. That way, he can reflect on getting you back and start to chase. He won’t do that if he’s already with you though. He rather break up.


What's going on everybody? It's your favorite dating coach, Elliot Scott! I am a 32-year-old who loves to read, write, and play games. Yes, I have a life outside of giving advice :)

9 thoughts on “How To Make A Guy Jealous In A Long Distance Relationship

  1. I agree that we shouldn’t be trying to make people jealous. We’re better off focusing on our own well being than playing games that will ultimately lead to toxicity.
    I like how you introduce and define jealousy from an evolutionary perspective and that it’s a short yet informative read xx

  2. I hurt my guys feelings and while I dont want to make him jealous, I notice it’s what get his attention. We are long-distance and he’s now disappeared from all social media for the last week. It has made me miss him SO much because most of our relationship in between seeing each other is on snapchat and IG. Any insight on whats going on in his mind right now? I never realized how disappearing on social media can make me wonder about what he’s doing so much.

    1. He’s looking for replacements and talking to someone else. There is no benefit in him being in an LDR with a woman who makes him jealous.

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