I have been a guy who liked a girl one day and then overnight, my feelings have changed. I am going to tell you EXACTLY what goes on in a guy’s head, what actually happened, and if his feelings can change that fast.
While all men are different, what I am about to talk about is a large majority of men.
Can A Guy’s Feelings Change Overnight?
Yes, his feeling can change overnight but not as you think. He can’t go from really liking you to not liking you unless you did something extreme. The reason his feelings “changed” overnight is in his mind, he wasn’t sure about you to begin with but didn’t let it show.
Let’s break this down so you understand what I mean and have a clear idea of what he’s thinking.
Logically speaking, it wouldn’t be the best idea or in the guy’s best interest to invest heavily in you, like you, and then you do something wrong and he throws the idea of you two away and move on. That’s not how TRUE and GENUINE feelings work. They’re not a light switch.
If he really liked you and wanted a relationship, he would:
- Have weighed the assets versus the liabilities and stayed (unless you did something really bad)
- Had a like bias and tried to justify it
- Give you another chance
- And more
However, it is important to talk about the things that make it seem like his feelings changed overnight. Those things can be:
- An emotionally unavailable guy
- A guy who lovebombed you
- A guy who acted as he liked you to get a particular thing
- A guy who realized the pacing was too fast and bit off more than he can chew
- A guy who wasn’t sure about you but played it off
When this stuff happens, I can understand where it looks like his feeling changed. But the reason I still say the didn’t change is this:
If ANY of the above bullet points are true, it was going to happen either way no matter how amazing you are. So how much did he actually like you to begin with?
Think of it as a large spectrum based on feelings. Towards the left, is him loving you. The more right you go, the more he can’t stand you. that means, obviously, in the middle is neutral ground.
In my opinion, the only way to justify it changing so drastically is due to his feelings for you being so close in the middle (meaning he was unsure).
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If his feelings were closer to the 7-10 range, I find it hard to believe his feelings were going to change overnight without you doing anything. Even if you did do something, I still find it hard to believe they would change that drastically.
His Feelings Changed Because He Wasn’t Sure About You To Begin With
Women do not like when I say this but it’s the truth. A lot of the times, you just didn’t things coming because you don’t see things from the mindset of the guy.
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I know you may find that hard to believe because you two had such amazing chemistry and good times up to that point but think of it like this:
How amazing was that chemistry, sex, and good times if he’s able to lose feelings and change overnight?
You can’t tell me they were THAT strong. Because a man’s feelings don’t change that way for people he really likes.
Think of it like this:
You have to look at it from his perspective in terms of advantages. What would be the advantage of letting go of a woman who he doesn’t like?
There are none. Especially a woman he’s investing heavily in and up to this point, things have been great. Why would he just toss all that away over a little change due to one night?
The next question I would probably hear is, “Okay I get what you’re saying, maybe he didn’t like that much anymore. But his actions didn’t show that. His actions are the complete opposite!”
While you’re right on that point, there are several reasons why a man’s actions could change drastically:
- Context. That means the assets are great but due to the liabilities, they’re not worth it anymore. He actually could see that overnight and completely change.
- He could still like you but not want a relationship. Therefore, if he feels like you want one or it’s going down that page, he may back off
- He is emotionally unavailable
- He lovebomed you
What I am trying to get at is, yes his actions can change BUT it’s not directly due to 100% his feelings. There are other things involved.
This is kind of off topic but the theory still applies:
Let’s say I like you and things are going well. I love the assets I am getting from you: sex, attention, validation, someone to cuddle, good conversation, and so on. At the beginning (first month or two), I am not going to worry about the context as much or the relationship because this is a new thing we have and I am just going with the flow. Do I want one? Maybe. We will see but as of right now, I am not thinking of it. As time goes by though, the context (the stuff we do and say over time) is starting to add up. It is starting to feel like a relationship and now that it’s starting to feel real, I am getting a more accurate feeling that I am not ready for one. When I go back home, I start to think about it and realize it’s not for me then tell you I don’t want to continue what this anymore.
While that may seem like it happened overnight, it didn’t. It was something a lot of guys do which is they don’t speak their mind to a woman hour by hour and day by day because if he did, you’d think he’s crazy.
He only will bring it up when he’s ready and realizes it’s not for him so he doesn’t yo-yo back and forth. Yes, it still hurts you but it is better than being hot and cold.
I think the above example is the most common one a lot of women experience.
That doesn’t mean he never liked you. He just doesn’t want a relationship and/or feels that what you two have are going towards that direction.
Even if you were in a relationship and he woke up not wanting one anymore, the same thing applies: it’s probably a guy who has been feeling that way for some time but wants to make sure he is secure in his answer before giving it to you.
I know a lot of you may not like that and think a guy should communicate his feelings so you can try to make the relationship work but I disagree. It’s personal preference but when I don’t like you anymore, I don’t want you to convince me to stay. Bringing up problems in a relationship is one thing. Me telling you I am not feeling you anymore isn’t something I will just say unless I am sure that’s how I feel. Sometimes, it’s too late.
I know that’s hard to hear ladies but it’s the truth. Let me know what you think. Do you still think a man’s feeling can change overnight?