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5 Untold Reasons He Treats You Like A Girlfriend But Won’t Commit

Does he treat you like a girlfriend but doesn’t want to commit?

You may think this is weird but it’s actually VERY logical and more common than you might think. In fact, a lot of clients who come to me have this problem.

They’re talking to a guy who is sweet, nice, awesome and treats her well but for some reason, he’s not committing. She goes on to explain to me that everything would be perfect if he just commits.

There is a reason it all looks perfect! There is a reason things are going so well.

In this article, I am going to go over the 5 reasons I feel men treat you like a girlfriend but don’t commit.

You’re going to be surprised.

Why Does He Treat Me Like A Girlfriend But Doesn’t Want To Commit To A Relationship?

A guy will treat you like a girlfriend but not commit because he wants the best of both worlds. He knows if he treats you well, you’re going to stick around in hopes he commits. He’s going to take advantage of that while still technically being single and allowed to do what he wants.

It’s not that simple though.

That makes logical sense. I tell women that when a guy isn’t ready for a relationship, he’s going to make every excuse in the book to keep you around in order to gain your assets while seeing what else is out there.

Some assets may include:

  • Sex
  • Your looks
  • Ego boost
  • You’re an option
  • Validation
  • Attention
  • Status boost
  • Filling a void
  • And more

The thing is, if he’s already getting all this from you, what would be the reason for him to commit?

What else is he gaining?

A lot of women can’t answer this. If that’s the case, he’s losing out by committing because he’s not gaining anything and only losing the ability to be single.

I know that is harsh to hear and a lot of women will say, “Well, it’s because he likes me a lot.”

I don’t know about that. He can’t be liking you that much.

If you have problems with men not committing or not being able to build enough attraction to get them to commit, I HIGHLY suggest you check out my course Attraction Academy. It will solve all those problems right up and have him crawling at your feet.

Let me go into detail on more reasons a man doesn’t commit. These reasons, by the way, stack. The more that stack, the less he’s likely to commit.

Reason One For Not Committing: Negotiation

When I bring up a negotiation, a lot of women seem confused on what that has to do with anything.

It has everything to do with why he treats you like his girlfriend but doesn’t commit.

MUST-READ: How To Make A Guy Feel Bad For Hurting You

MUST-READ: What Guys Truly Think When You Ignore Them

See, when he knows you know he’s not going to commit whether that’s through discussion or his actions, he can only assume that you know this piece of information. With that, he doesn’t have to worry about creating a context or a vibe of a relationship (leading you on).

this usually causes men to act all-loving and like a decent guy for him to only say, “Yeah, it’s because I like you but you know I don’t want a relationship.”

A better way to put it is:

Guys sometimes don’t act all lovey-dovey (or it drops off) because it creates a context of a relationship and if he’s not on the same page as you, he’s not going to follow through due to leading you on. But if he knows you know he doesn’t want one, leading you on is a little diluted.

Reason Two For Not Committing: No Pressure

Just like I said above, there is not pressure or worry. He can treat you however he wants because he knows you shouldn’t be expecting a relationship.

This relief of pressure makes men grasp for all the relationship benefits without actually being in one.

Why do men do this instead of just committing? There are several reasons:

  • Liking you and wanting a relationship are two completely different things. In fact, I would argue you can’t help who you like while a relationship is a big lifestyle choice.
  • He likes you but only in a casual manner meaning it’s fun and you’re cool but not for a relationship.
  • He could be emotionally unavailable.
  • At this moment in his life, he’s unsure what he wants so rather focus on a variety of women.
  • He’s unsure about you,

I can go on and on.

Reason Three For Not Committing: The Feeling Of A Relationship

I know it sounds weird to not commit in order to get the feeling of commitment but hear me out.

This is the mindset of someone who is unsure about a relationship while still wanting the benefits of one.

Is it unfair? To a degree yeah. If it’s leading you on. But that’s human nature. We tend to minimize liabilities while trying to gain assets.

That’s what he is trying to justify. If he wants the feeling of a relationship while being unsure of the girl or if he actually wants one, why not just talk to her and “see where it goes?”

The problem I see most here is women holding onto hope that these things will change. She thinks that because they talked for 3 months he’s going to come around because they have such an amazing time.

That’s not true at all.

In fact, after a certain timeframe, he feels you’re not going to go anywhere because you invested too much into him. He’s going to take advantage of that.

Don’t let him.

Reason Four He Won’t Commit: You Hold Onto Hope

That’s right. I just said it!

You hold onto hope that because he treats you like a girlfriend, he’s going to commit.

That’s not the case.

In fact, you probably have a better chance of winning him over by cutting him off. That way, you can create a reason for him to change. You are the catalyst for change. If you think he’s going to change while he is having his cake and eating it too you’re dead wrong.

I am not going to hate on men here because it’s not like he’s consciously thinking, “She’s holding onto hope and I will take advantage of that.”

I am sure some guys think that but most of them don’t.

I just feel that a lot of men DO like the girl so they want to talk to her. He’s not obligated to commit and you’re not obligated to stick around. if you two are on different pages, then separate.

I hate to say this and don’t want to play the blame game but I don’t even blame men after a certain point. We can establish he’s a liar, manipulator, or a jerk but after a so long, it’s obvious he’s not going to commit yet, women stay.

Why? You’re just giving him more of a reason to not commit to you.

Reason Five He’s Not Committing: You’re Getting The Raw End Of The Deal

If he’s treating you like a girlfriend but not committing, you’d be a fool to stick around if he’s treating you bad. He knows this to be the case.

That’s why he has to treat you well. That’s why he has to treat you like a girlfriend.

Not only does it give you hope, he knows you’re getting drained of resources and has to paint a pretty picture in order to get you to stay. If he didn’t, you’d be crazy to stay.

He has to sweeten that pot!

He needs to paint that picture in hopes that you stay otherwise he has to do that crap with someone all over again.

Let me know what you think. Do you agree with my reasons? Comment below if I left something out. I would love to hear what you have to say!


What's going on everybody? It's your favorite dating coach, Elliot Scott! I am a 32-year-old who loves to read, write, and play games. Yes, I have a life outside of giving advice :)

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